Pope Makes Stephen Harper a Living Saint  

Sainthood requires a minimum of TWO miracles.

Stephen Harper has THIRTY TWO!!!

So unusual are Harper’s consistent efforts to kill the spirit of democracy that Pope Benedict XVI interpreted these as genuine miracles. The pope further explains that no normal non-saintly human being could perform such oppressive actions without serious repercussion. While the average prime minister might engage in your typical scummy political agenda he’d be booted out after his first term. Here in Canada we’re coming up on our THIRD TERM and still no end in sight for Mr. Harper. And that,” said Pope Benedict XVI, “is a true miracle.”

Here is a list of Stephen Harper’s humble miracles (taken from Lawrence Martin’s new book, Harperland):
1. Padlocking Parliament.
2. The secret handbook on how to obstruct committees.
3. Ordering police to remove journalists from a hotel lobby to prevent coverage of a Tory caucus meeting.
4. Attempting to discipline an academic for criticizing the government.
5. Making a bid to vet even the press releases of the auditor-general.
6. Scripting supporters’ calls to radio talk jocks.
7. Naming an unelected senator to cabinet.
8. The elimination of the Access to Information database.
9. Hiding justice department studies on crime.
10. Plagiarizing the Australian prime minister’s speech.
11. Hiding a firearms report to prevent embarrassment on the gun registry.
12. Downgrading Diane Ablonczy for her support of gay pride week. (Conservative MP for the Alberta riding of Calgary-Nose Hill).
13. Attempting to strip political parties of public funding
14. Alleging that he opposition leader has no right to form a government.
15. Slashing the budget of the Parliamentary Budget Officer.
16. Putting Tory logos on government cheques for stimulus funding.
17. Withholding details of stimulus funding.
18. Granting stimulus funding disproportionately to Tory ridings.
19. Halting Peter Tinsley’s probe on Afghan detainees (Chair of the Military Police Complaints).
20. Ousting Paul Kennedy from the Commission for Public Complaints Against the RCMP (CBC broadcast journalist).
21. Smearing Richard Colvin. Defying Parliament’s right to documents.
22. The nixing of the Court Challenges Program.
23. The misinformation campaign on Afghan detainees.
24. Reversals on half of the promised accountability measures.
25. Attacking Elections Canada.
26. Attacking Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty as the small man of Confederation.
27. Releasing an online attack ad featuring a bird defecating on the opposition leader’s head.
28. The move on Statistics Canada.
29. Barring cabinet staffers from testifying before committees.
30. The in-and-out money shuffle.
31. Labelling Louise Arbour a national disgrace (Former UN High Commissioner for Human Rights).
32. Firing the nuclear agency head Linda Keen.
33. Getting the non-elected, PC, members of the Senate to shoot down bills approved in the House.